Learning Outcome 1
One of the first specific changes I made to my final draft was making sure I made it clear the authors opinions on my thesis and then making sure I stated my own opinion. Afterwards, when I reread my first draft, I noticed in my first body paragraph that I did not bring up an author at all and just started to state random ways that technology negatively impacted the world. After that is when I made sure to put an author in the first body paragraph and put a quote of what they are saying while explaining what it means. Then I put another quote from the other author and their opinion while again explaining what they are saying. Then I made sure to put my opinion on what the authors are saying, and then putting in my own experiences. ““Students don’t seem to be making friendships as before. They make acquaintances, but their connections seem superficial.” What that quote is saying is that kids are so distracted by phones, that they do not actually get to know people well enough to make relationships with these people. Anderson even quotes an author, Winifred Gallagher, saying, “If you continue to just jump in the air every time your phone rings or pounce on those buttons every time you get an instant message, that’s not the machine’s fault. That’s your fault.” The quote is saying that humans are at fault for how they get distracted and it’s not the machine’s fault. I agree with both Turkle and Anderson, in a sense that digital technology is distracting. I will admit that I get distracted by technology at times especially while in class and I cannot see the time, I just always want to be checking it to see how much longer I have. I do not agree with the fact that digital technology is just to blame for our distractions.” These are some of what I put into my first paragraph.